.....

So I left swim practice, had this GREAT blog post with something that was really on my mind and a whole sermon-like explanation/rambling about it, and do you think I can remember it now?  Of course not.

So rather than trying to come up with another great idea or something else to write about, I'm going to leave you with this.....

I have to go to bed two more times and have 1 full day to get through and then we'll be together for a whole stinkin' week :)

I got asked today if I am excited to have a week off.  Of course I am.  We all need breaks from work to maintain our sanity and still enjoy doing it.  Am I even more excited that it is a whole week off with you? Absolutely.  The one thing I said that shocked a few people (is it possible people are still shocked by me speaking my mind?) is that yes, I am excited to spend a week with you, but I wish it were for different reasons.  I don't know why this surprised them, everyone has known for 7 weeks now that you are leaving for a whole year :(  but I guess they didn't expect a two-part answer.  Oh well.  Maybe I should write it down for them and then they can interpret my feelings and words however they want.  Whatevs.

All I know is that I love you, I cannot wait to spend this week together with you even if we have like a million and one things to do, and even more importantly, I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.  In the grand scheme of how long we're going to be married- one year apart is a cake walk.  I know I'll kick myself for saying that at some points, but it's true.  People go through a lot worse than being apart for a year.  It'll fly by and when you come home I'll be 30 pounds lighter just like last time you were gone.  It's like magic ;)

Forever and always my love.

Wow it's been too long

What has it been- three weeks now?  So I'm slacking (shocking :p)  I don't know why I'm not writing anymore.  I think some of it is because writing on here makes me process what it's going to be like when this is our only form of communication.  It sucks not hearing your voice.  I live for those thirty second conversations, my random stories to you about cutting my foot on the door and getting attacked by spiders  and beetles while trying to grill with no gas in the propane tank :( .  I still am slightly in denial that you are leaving for a year.  Yes you've been gone for a month (and are coming home in four days!!!!!!!!!!!) but i've talked to you at least twice a day every day since you've been gone and we had the most amazing surprise weekend in NY last weekend which was AMAZING!!!!

You are my everything babe.  I love you more than life itself and can't imagine every being without you, but I know that this year will fly by.  I was at the pool getting my tan on, and talked to a few different people.  Everyone agreed that yes, a year sucks, but in the grand scheme of things isn't a year a small price to pay for being debt free, actually having a savings account again and also having a good career path once you're done?  I am glad that people are finally understanding why you are taking this job and I am supporting you.  I have a job that I love and I can't imagine my life without this job, and it's so nice to finally hear you excited about a job again.  Plus, this might be our ticket out of Apex finally ;)

I love you forever and always.  Almost two years ago we got married.  I will miss you on our anniversary, but we will have so many more anniversaries together.  Who knows where we'll be on our third anniversary- maybe floating around the Mediterranean  on a cruise, or on some exotic island.  Look at where we were a year ago, and imagine where we will be in another year.

4 1/2 days and I'll be on my way to the airport to pick you up!!!!!!!!!!!!  Love you babe

Amendment one

So I'm not gonna lie, I haven't followed much about this amendment much before a week or so ago, mainly because I thought it was only an amendment to define marriage, and honestly, I'm still torn about that.  However, the more i listen to it and read and see people's opinions and judgmental the more I had to research.  And the more I have realized that people feel that they should be in charge of making everyone else's decisions.  The Bible commands us to worry about ourselves and trust that the only judgment that matters is God's judgment.  so why do we sit here and judge everyone else.  We're supposed to pull the plank out of our eye before worrying about the splinter in someone else's eye.  (Man I feel like a preacher).  That was one of the first sermon's we heard at Crosspointe, and one of the ones I still struggle with.  We need to fix ourselves before we can worry about others.  As we fix ourselves we will come to realize that the issues we've been having with others aren't nearly as big as we've been making them out to be.

You know this is one thing I've been having a hard time with in direct relationship with one of our friends and their choices.  I don't understand how people can make awful decisions that screw up their life and the things they once stood for, but isn't that what people said about you and I getting married so quickly and so young?  People still don't understand half the choices I've made- hell, I still dont' understand half the choices I've made in life.  I don't understand at what point in our life we start feeling like we can judge other people.  Is it a learned behavior by children from their parents?  Is it engrained in us?  How do we stop this vicious cycle of us always being worried about everyone else instead of being worried about ourselves?  I know sometimes people like worrying about others and pointing out their flaws because it makes us seem better, but I don't understand.  I see it already in the little ones at school and church, but I still see it in adults all the time too.  We have a justification for it too.  We call the cops on a speeder because they might harm someone if they crash, but weren't we just speeding behind them?  We tell the teacher when another kid is cheating, but aren't we looking at someone else taking a test to realize they're cheating?

I don't get it.  I know a lot of what I'm venting on right now I have to work on, but that is one of the things I'm working on because it bothers me so much when others do it, so I'm trying to stop.  i suppose I should start with our friend and his other half to try and practice accepting them and not judging their choices cuz Lord knows I don't understand them but hey do I understand my own decisions?  Not really.

As always, I'm opinionated and I ramble, but didnt' you fall in love with all of me?  ;)

Good night my love.

Forever and Always

Just another Monday....

Whenever we talk on the phone I ramble.  I really suppose I should change that to "When I talk I ramble".  Is this shocking to anyone who knows me?  Absolutely not.  I always feel guilty whenever I hang up the phone because I have rambled on for like half an hour, but I have realized I just ramble because the more things I say, the more reaction I get out of you and that's all the more words I have to hang on to.

I remember after Grammie passed away, I so quickly forgot her voice and that sucks.  I can't believe that I haven't heard her voice since '06, and even more I can't believe how quickly I forgot what it sounds like.  I am so afraid that in the next year I am going to forget what your voice sounds like.  Is this possible?  No.  There are things I do or say and I can hear you in my head reacting (and I'm usually 99% right.  And 50% of the time you would laugh at me, 48% of the time you would give me a "Really?"  and the other 2% you would just stare and do your "wha, wha, never mind") ;)  I pray we do get a few phone calls while you are gone overseas just so we do get to connect on that level too.

I love you my dear. I have loved you since our first date to the most awful concert in my life, and I will love you till the day I die.

Sleep well my love.  Forever and always

Yours truly.

Sunday #2

Church was hard today.  I of course picked an empty seat where there weren't people around me in hopes of Josh and Nikki showing up and actually sitting with me, but then the people that sat around me were all adorable, kissy, huggy, smiley couples.  Is that what we look like to other people?  Cuz man they're nauseating to look at.  ;)

The sermon was awesome, as always.  The music, fantastic.  Being alone, awful.

I got the house cleaned today.  I think I overdosed Vader on catnip, he hasn't really moved in the past few hours other than to turn over periodically.  Whoops.

I don't really know what to write other than the fact that I'm exhausted and waiting for the washer to be done so I can go to bed is taking forever.  Things seem to take so much longer when you're waiting to go to bed.  I suppose it's all our perspective in that moment.  This past week took forever to go by, which makes me wonder if the next four weeks are going to take too long to go by for our last week together.  But if I don't think about it, will it go faster?  But then if I'm not thinking about it, I'm not thinking about you, and I can't stand not thinking about you.  Boo silly mind games :(

The washer just finished and I'm off to pass out.  It's 11:11- make a wish.  I know what I'm wishing for, the same thing I've wished for at  every 11:11 I've caught since you left.

Forever and always my love

Whitney

Stormy Weather

Today started out as a gorgeous, albeit humid, spring day.  I got the most AWFUL semi-tan/sunburn/something on ONE ARM despite standing in shade or in direct sunlight, never at an angle to the sun.  Thankfully I'll be at the pool tomorrow straightening out my tan lines at the pool :)

Then the day turned to a nasty, stormy, thundering and lightening crappy day.  Typical southern summer day with the weather :)

Rainy weather makes it hard to go to sleep though because those were the days we would just hang on the couch, cuddling, being lazy.  Really, any day being away from you is hard.  But crappy weather makes it even harder.

I wish you were here to go to church with me tomorrow.  We are so blessed to have found an amazing church that we love, and I'm even more excited to get involved and continue to grow, but there is a part of me that feels super guilty that I'm here getting involved in our church and you're up in Boston alone and then overseas without the church.  Sure you can get the sermons on iTunes or I can send them over to you, but it's not the same as being in church feeling that environment and seeing everyone, even if we aren't close to anyone.

So check this guy out.  I don't even remember who he is, but I stumbled upon him online the other day, and he makes this face in EVERY PICTURE he's in.  Eyebrow half raised, semi-smirk one eye half closed.  EVERY TIME.  You probably won't get nearly as good a laugh out of it as I did, but man should we try and find a pose like this for every picture from now on?

I love you my dear.  Sleep well sweet dreams.

forever and always
Whitney

Food for thought

I was listening to K-Love this morning as I was getting ready as always, and I heard an interesting thought from one of their pastors who sometimes does little "Daily Food For Thoughts".  He said, why don't we treat our relationship with God like our relationship with our spouse?  We work at our relationship with our spouse to make it stronger and better everyday, so how come when we become a Christian, we have a tendency to stop working at it or just work at it when times get tough?  It struck me hard, because we talk at least once a month about things we are doing right, things we would like to change and what we have accomplished in the past month or so in our relationship, and it's one reason why we are as strong a couple as we are today.  I'm quite proud of the fact that we've made it almost two years with no major fights, I don't remember you ever yelling at me, and I've only yelled at you in a fight maybe a few times that I remember.  (I clarify I haven't yelled at you in a fight all that much because I yell at you every time you drive it seems :p).  We discuss the downfalls of our relationship with God as a couple, and also things we would like to work on personally, so my challenge to me as an individual, you as an individual and us as a couple is to grow our relationship stronger and closer to God both by ourselves and together in the next year.

Do I even need to say anything about this picture??

I hope you have tons of fun tonight with your friends/coworkers tonight.  Be smart, be safe and hopefully all the camels are locked up in Boston ;)

I love you my dear.

Forever and always.  

Hot

Really that's all I can sum up today as.  It's the first truly hot day of the summer, and I'm glad I didn't decide to walk to work today.  I probably would've just left there ;)

We go well together ya know that?  We work well together, especially around the house.  You pick up, I clean.  You wash clothes, I fold mine ;).  You load and wash the dishwasher and I unload it.  You know everything about the fish tank and I sit around looking at it.  I see Vader's water is low, you fill it.  So I know some things are petty like filling the water and cleaning the litter box, but it is so nice to come home and see that you have done so much for me.  It makes everything easier.  I know I thank you for doing that stuff, but I truly am thankful for coming home and seeing how much you have done.  I give you crap for not doing stuff, but I'm realizing how little crap i should've been giving you and how much appreciation I should've been giving you.  On that note, I am striving to be a better wife while you are gone.  It seems so simple, and probably I should've have waited until I was 26 to actually start doing this stuff, but I pray I am in the habit of picking up my clothes off the floor and cooking real grown-up food and taking out the trash.  All those things that I have been too lazy to do if we're completely truthful.  My prayer for us this year is that even though we're apart, we will grow stronger as people and as a couple to make our marriage that much better.  (Not that I can imagine it any better than it already is, even though I'm sure you have at least one idea ;p).

I'm watching Tanked (damn you fish tanks) and they are building a king-sized headboard fish tank.  It's at Furniture Land South which is about an hour away from us.  Road trip?  And no- this will NEVER go up in our house.  Although it is AMAZINGLY awesome.

Have you gotten a chance to listen to this past Sunday's sermon yet?  I know the Wi-Fi sucks at the hotel so I wasn't sure if you got a chance to get it yet.  I haven't listened either.  This is the first Sunday since we found Crosspointe that I haven't heard the sermon whether online or in person.  We should fix that.  I have yet to hear a bad sermon, and I am interested to hear what it was.

I miss you.  I know I will probably say this every day, but I'm pretty sure I'll also find a different thing about you to miss everyday.  Have fun with training tomorrow and the rest of the week.  You are amazing my love.

Forever and always

Whitney

Tuesday

I think the thing I'll miss the most when you're overseas isn't you being in the house or the hugs, cuddles, kisses or just generally being close, it's hearing your voice.  Having you next to me to talk to, to watch TV with, and make fun of the lyrics of the songs on Dancing With The Stars.  I can call you right now and hear your voice, but once you go over there, I won't just be able to pick up the phone and call just to hear an "I love you" or a "You're being crazy :p" or an "it'll be ok".  You are my support, my strength and my voice of reasoning.

Vader is wanting to help me write this right now, let's see if I can get him to say something- viuc cvhch nn bmm- I think that roughly translates to "I can't believe you left me with this crazy woman".  I could be wrong though.  ;)

Let's go to Tahiti when you get back.  I think we could handle watching this sunset for a week or two or four every night.  But really, I think i can watch just about anything as long as you're next to me.  We could even catch a few fish for our dream basement dolphin tank ;)

I miss you my love.  I am so thankful to hear how excited you are about your new job.  I really haven't seen you this excited about anything in a long time, which makes it easier to say goodbye and have you go.  I am counting down the days until we get our last week together, even if we can't get all the way over to Tahiti ;).  

Goodnight my love.  Sleep well sweet dreams and I love you forever and always.

Wifey